005 FOUNDATION BLOCKS OF INTEGRATIONAL SPIRITAN MOVEMENT
CHAPTER 4: LECTURES FROM A TODDLER
i.
Have you ever heard of Sigmund Freud, Jean Piaget, Erik Erickson
or Lawrence Kohlberghas? These are well known research scientists that spent
years, studying children in minute detail. So you need to get into a library or
consult a current encyclopaedia to appreciate the wisdom contained in this
chapter!
ii.
We may take off with the toddler. Do you
remember some of the things you did at that age? I can only summarise some of
them here; you sucked your thumb so much
that you had to be punished to stop that 'naughty' habit. Again as you dropped
that one, you began to babble monosyllabic words and very much later you were
able to pronounce your first meaning words, which were; mama, dada, ada, aha
aba, then -mummy, daddy, etc followed gradually!
iii.
But the greatest achievement was what Jean Piaget called; the
acquisition of pre-operational concepts of mass, volume, height, and depth. But
let's take thumb sucking first, which the father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund
Freud elaborated on in great detail. It contains so much on personality
formation! It is normal for children to suck, for they even started it right
there in the womb long before they were delivered!
iv.
Thumb sucking relieves an infant’s tension and stimulates the
sensitive membranes of the mouth pleasantly. In this respect the thumb is to
the infant what the cigarette is to the adult. When children are tired, sleepy,
hungry, sick, or are teething, their finger sucking increases.
v.
Scolding a child for thumb sucking will make him feel guilty,
which he will try to relieve by more thumb sucking. This is
counter-productive! It is more effective
to keep him well fed and to provide him with adequate toys to occupy his hands
and fingers.
vi.
So newly weds should take note. You could be damaging your
infant’s future personality by your ignorant enforcement of age-old discipline
that was only done in error and is really a cultural proscription!
vii.
For cigarette smokers, you now know that you are regressing to a
toddler's method of reducing tension or anxiety, thereby informing all around
you that you still immature. This is equally applicable to ladies who always
delight in chewing gums! A word is enough for the wise!
viii.
However the most important lesson to learn from the infant at
this time is to face your tensions as a mature adult and seek for help if need
be! Don’t resort to infantile behaviour!! Excessive drinking is akin to this
problem. Alcohol never solved any problems, rather it adds to it!
ix.
The next lesson is what Freud called “fixations”. “Fixation at the oral stage leads to extreme selfishness” states
Sigmund Freud. This naturally leads the child onto seeking pleasurable things
in later life, thereby developing as an egocentric personality! Sensuality,
avarice and gluttony follow in the wake of retaining this misdemeanour!
x.
The next fixation is that of the anal stage, when the child
derives pleasure from controlling the anus. Due to routine you may not have
noticed that defecation is pleasurable! It relieves tension. But in infancy the
toddler notices that he/she can control the parents by inappropriate release or
withholding of bowel movements!
xi.
In later life, those that resort to this regression of infantile
manoeuvre develop stingy personality traits. They tend to hoard in order to
control the relevant others' behaviour! Traders take note! When this trait
combines with the previous one; greed, stealing and robbery are the triplets
that are delivered!
xii.
Stingy parents, please
realise that your marriage partner is unduly being stressed by you regressed
fixation! Some sexual relationships suffer because of this subconscious
manipulation learnt in early life!! I have treated many cases of this type in
my clinical practice.
xiii.
Bosses in offices, Principals of schools, Pastors in parishes,
Bursars or Purchasing Officers in various organisations should take a good note
of this and re-evaluate their behaviour henceforth!
xiv.
The next lecture from that toddler is the fixation at the
phallic stage! Most infants derive pleasure from caressing their sex organs
early in life. Some parents notice this and reclaim their kids before much
damage is done. Others ignore this or do not even take notice!
xv.
In reality everyone indulged temporarily in masturbation early in
life to relieve tensions. However some carry it to teenage, adolescence, and
even to adulthood! This results in promiscuity! It is as simple as that!
Retrain yourself if you are involved or consult a sex therapist!
xvi.
By now you may think that all these are psychological jargons,
but I assure you that they are not! Sigmund Freud spent all his life after
medical college studying these and he is an authority in this area!
xvii.
That one did not take notice of what one did, as a child does
not translate to that they never occurred! Observe your own kids from now on
and you will be grateful to that great psychoanalyst!
xviii.
The hurdles that every toddler has to cross to develop into a
well-balanced personality have been highlighted for you to begin a sanitation
exercise within yourself! Consult a clinical psychologist for remedies!
xix.
The integrated personality that we all desire consists in
passing these in life appropriately assisted by our cultural norm and mores.
Parental awareness of these stages is hereby canvassed for. Religion often
comes to the rescue, but with varying degrees of success. Some develop scruples
or other depersonalisation syndromes!
xx.
A normal heterosexual relationship is hard to attain but it is
achievable! Don’t give up! Make the best use of the knowledge you garnered from
this chapter to raise your lovely children and leave the rest for the Almighty
Creator of both you and you kids!
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